More "Gary Coleman" Rock Stars!
By the Editor

So, what is a "Gary Coleman Rocker"? For those of you not familiar with this column, here is a little intro as to what exactly constitutes a "Gary Coleman Rock Star". I didn't come up with the name; it is the brilliant moniker given by EC writer DJ Ivan, who said:

"[band or artistes name] is to music what Gary Coleman is to acting. They should be grateful anyone wants to interview them."
You May remember Gary Coleman, the child star from the show, DIFFERENT STROKES. Gary was cute with minimum talent, but enormously popular. He earned a large chunk of change, blew it and is now bitter. Now he is just tabloid fodder. We compare these bitter rockers to Gary Coleman, hence the nickname "Gary Coleman Rock Stars". This nickname is not intended as an insult or slight towards Gary Coleman. You may question his acting abilities, but you cannot deny his place in the pop culture landscape of the '80s. Just ask Danny Bonaduce, I'm sure he'll understand...

One of the most amusing aspects of doing interviews for EAR CANDY is experiencing firsthand some of the fickle, prima-donna-like behavior that some artistes display. I'll have some "stars" initially agree to an interview only to have them change the terms of the interview several times. Some artists prefer e-mail interviews, others prefer phone interviews. On one occasion, the artist agreed to do an e-mail interview only to contact me 3 months later to say he "doesn't like typing" (we had to arrange a trans-Atlantic call from London, which he graciously accepted the charges for!) These "phoners" can be just as challenging. About 90% of the time the artist never calls even remotely close to the time arranged. A few had distractions and had to call me back in the middle of an interview. But hell, that's rock 'n roll, right?!

With all this in mind, we bring you the return of the "Gary Coleman Rock Stars". This month's official "Gary Coleman Rock Star" blew us off after initially agreeing to an interview. After contacting his publicist, it was agreed to do an interview AFTER the artists CD was finally released. Well, after about 9 months, the said CD was released. At this time I was given a curt response that said the interview would not take place. That's cool, I'm sure his CD's are selling platinum and he is selling out the Enormo-Domes around the country! Well...actually, he's NOT, ha ha!

And, as is tradition with our last installment of "GCRS", we shall not name the artiste outright, lest our EAR CANDY "David" gets sued by the pompous "Goliath" that represents the said artiste. But we will give you a few hints in true, smart-ass EAR CANDY style.

Yes, he was a '70s teen idol.
No, it is not Shawn Cassidy or David Cassidy or Bobby Sherman.

Yes, he was on an installment of "Behind the Music".
No, it is not the surviving member of Milli Vanilli.

Yes, he lost all his hair.
No, it is not a younger Phil Collins.

Yes, he was in a much-publicized drunk driving accident.
No, it is not a member of Motley Crue.

Yes, he was on a celebrity version of "The Weakest Link".
No, it is not Danny Bonaduce.

Yes, he had (or is it HAS?) a heroin problem.
No, it is not Keith Richards.

Ah, gotta love 'em, those rock stars that once adorned the cover of every major magazine and now are humbly playing small clubs. I have a feeling that we haven't heard the last of the "Gary Coleman Rock Stars". As long as EAR CANDY continues, Iím sure we'll meet again!